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Old 04-08-2002, 02:01 PM
Roger Gregory
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True Things (Apparently)


1. At the end of a party there is always a girl crying.
2. One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your drink-to-lavatory cycle gets synchronised with that of a complete stranger.
3. You're never quite sure whether it's OK to eat the green crisps.
4. Reading while you're drunk is horrible.
5. Nobody ever dares make Cup-a-Soup in a bowl.
6. Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a ball.
7. You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
8. Everyone remembers the day a dog ran into the school.
9. The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
10. Some days you see a lot of people on crutches.
11. Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
12. Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
13. You never run out of salt.
14. You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
15. The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned electrical plug.
16. People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.
17. You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
18. In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
19. Triangle sandwiches taste better than square ones.
20. Beneath every free-floating balloon is a tearful child.

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