I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it goes......
I decide to clean off the front patio. I start to the patio and notice mail on the desk that needs to be taken down to the Post Office. OK, I'm going to the Post Office......

But first, I'm going to go through the mail that was delivered. I lay the car keys on the desk. After discarding the junk mail, I notice the trash can is full. OK, I'll just put my bills on my desk.......

But first, I'll take the trash out. But since I'm going to be near the mailbox, I'll address a few bills.....
Now, where is the checkbook? Oops....there's only one check left. Where did I put the extra checks? Oh, there's my empty coffee cup from last night on my desk. I'm going for those checks.....

But first, I need to put the cup back in the kitchen. I start to head for the kitchen and look out my balcony. I notice that the flowers need a drink of water. I put the cup on the counter, and there's my extra pair of glasses on the kitchen counter. What are they doing here? I'll just put them away......

But first, I need to water those plants. I head for the door and notice that someone left the TV remote in the wrong spot. OK, I'll put the remote away and water the plants on my balcony.......

But first, I need to find those checks.

End Of Day: The patio has not been cleaned, the bills are still unpaid, the cup is still on the counter, the checkbook still has only one check left, and I've lost my car keys.......

And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I'm baffled because I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY!

I realize this condition is serious.......
I'd get help..... But first......I think I'll check my email

Bob,
Sounds like a typical day for me. Nice to know I'm not the only one suffering from that disorder.
Jon

Bob, if you think you're having fun now, just wait until you've got another 20 or 30 years on you.
:

: @ Bob

Man that hits a little bit too close to home!

Here is one that is probably MORE close to home.



A WOMAN'S DICTIONARY

Men! Keep this document. Refer to it daily for your own safety.


1. "FINE"
This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you should shut up. (NEVER use "fine" to describe how she looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.)

2. "FIVE MINUTES"
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the same five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so women feel that it's an even trade.

3. "NOTHING"
"Nothing" means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."

4. "GO AHEAD" (WITH RAISED EYEBROWS)
This is NOT permission; it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the result will be the woman will get upset over "Nothing" and you'll have a "five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "Fine."

5. "GO AHEAD" (NORMAL EYEBROWS)
This is NOT permission, either. It means, "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" then she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

6. "LOUD SIGH"
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement. Very frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing!."

7. "SOFT SIGH"
Again, this is not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit longer.

8. "OH"
This word -- followed by any statement - is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days. ("Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie). Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get a raised eyebrow "Go ahead," sometimes followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.

9. "THAT'S OKAY"
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." Once she has had time to plan it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble.

10. "PLEASE DO"
This is not a statement. It is an offer. The woman is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

11. "THANKS"
The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for hidden meaning. Just say, "you're welcome."

12. "THANKS A LOT"
"Thanks A Lot" is dramatically different from "Thanks. "A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It is usually followed by the "Loud Sigh". This signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing".

OH MAN...that was just the laugh of the day.....it is SO true I get abit scared that the women 6000 miles from here acts the same.....ofcourse over here "THAT'S OKAY" is "Det er iorden"..........but the meaning is the same...."sigh" however is good over here too!

Bob, that is just too funny and to think that you never met my wife.Most excellent,Dave.