I made these up just for Roger...

Newspaper Headlines

1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
4. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
5. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
6. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
7. Stud Tires Out
8. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
9. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
10. Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
11. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
12. Eye Drops off Shelf
13. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
14. Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
15. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
16. Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
17. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
18. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
19. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
20. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
21. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
22. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
23. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
24. Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
25. Drunken ####### Paid $1000 in `84
26. War Dims Hope for Peace
27. If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
28. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
29. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
30. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
31. Deer Kill 17,000
32. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
33. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
34. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test
35. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
36. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
37. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
38. British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supplyhousing
39. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
40. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
41. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
42. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
43. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
44. Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
45. Air Head Fired
46. Steals Clock, Faces Time
47. Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
48. Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
49. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
50. Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction

Thanks Pat, I really like these

"4. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case "

Ouch! I'd rather have a night in the gutter.....

Roger