Holiday Eating Tips

[Drac]

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-oholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on! Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Enjoy!

As timing would have I mail out my annual Christmas candy packages this weekend. Due to working with a new machine and flavors there won't be as many packages but I'm sure they'll be eaten quickly. I really should say my wife will be mailing them out with this year?s batch of family presents.

Jim

[TexasJack]

Let me add this: If you are at a party and have too much to drink, don't put yourself and others in danger by trying to drive (or walk) home. Spend the night. With all the leftover food, there's bound to be a free breakfast.

Fruitcake was mentioned, and it should be pointed out that it has an almost eternal shelf life. Therefore, rather than eat it, you can save it until next year and send it to someone YOU don't like. (Let's face facts: No one who truely likes you would send you a fruitcake.) If you should come across one that has gone bad and become completely toxic, please forward it to my boss.

Thanks for the tips, Jim!!

[Mike Turner]

My preference is to act like I have had a bit to much to drink that way you are surely asked to stay, this way you can raid the fridge at your leisure.

As for fruit cake, I have only had one that was edible and it was a Jack Daniels, it is literally swimming in JD.

[B.Finnigan]

If you guys ever sampled my wife's family's cooking you would be begging for dried out fruitcake, it would be a drastic step up. I have personally viewed at least a dozen ways to destroy a turkey and all of the other trimings. It borderlines on criminal. Even after several stiff drinks it is still hideous. Combine the food atrocities with the obnoxious company and you have everything you need for a week long migraine.

In my dictionary Christmas is a latin word for nightmare.

[JediOkie]

I bet you could slab out fruitcake and make good handle material...wouldn't even have stabilize it. Hey maybe someone should mention this to the guys doing the Christmas KITH...

[Drac]

Candy went out this weekend. Here's a teaser shot:



Flavor
Lemon bark- White with yellow pieces
Mint bark- white with green and red pieces
Pecan divinity- plain
Vanilla creams- dark chocolate balls
Chocolate creams -dark chocolate balls with dark drizzle
Caramel- milk chocolate squares with circles
Toffee- milk chocolate squares with 3 stripes
Dark chocolate truffle- dark chocolate triangle
Milk chocolate truffle- milk chocolate triangle
White chocolate truffle- white chocolate triangle
Milk chocolate- rose
White chocolate- rose
Dark chocolate- rose
Cookie dough truffle- white chocolate demispheres round side up with cookie crumbs and white drizzle
Cherry almond paste- dark chocolate rectangles with swishes
Mudslide truffle- white chocolate demispheres flat side up with dark chocolate and cookie crumbs
Irish coffee creams- milk chocolate fluted triangle with shamrock
Kahlua truffle- dark chocolate triangle logs
Rum truffle- dark chocolate ovals with ridges on side
Brandy truffle- milk chocolate ovals with ridges on the side
Amaretto truffle- milk chocolate music oval
Raspberry truffle- dark chocolate geodesic sphere
Vanilla swirl truffle- dark chocolate swirl
Cherry vanilla truffle- dark chocolate fleur de lis diamonds
Cayenne pepper truffle- yellow topped dark chocolate geodesic sphere
Habanera pepper truffle- red topped dark chocolate geodesic sphere


Jim

[JediOkie]

I wouldn't mind trying those pepper truffles. I heard that they are really good. By the way got a prime rib going for dinner as I type this...mmmm beef.