A Question For You All

[Drac]

Hello,

I grew up in a family that constantly has to be better than everyone else. My family is VERY competitive. Now this is not the type of competitive nature that makes you strive to get better but the type that comes from insecurity. Not a shrink so I am not going to analyze where it come from.

Since I know that I have this nature in me I have made a point of staying away from competition with things that are passions in my life - cooking and knife making. things like I don't make pies for my in-laws since my middle sister-in-law makes them. It keeps me from getting so caught up in competition that I lose the love I have for it.

Now comes the issue. At my work I have a co-worker that has made a point of competing with me. When I brought in pulled pork for a potluck meal within a couple days he had to bring some in. When I was doing some jerky for another co-worker (in trade for venison) he brought some in for the same co-worker the next day. This has happened several times along with details on how his technique was SOOOOO much superior. Because of this I have stopped bringing cooking in for the group and if I bring something in for an individual I make sure I keep it hidden. This has really pissed people off when they realize this means no Christmas candies.

Well now he has started telling me all about knives. How it isn't a sharp knife that is safer it is the skill of the user (which, of course, he is a master) and how he will be taking up forging and smelting, after all they are almost the same process according to him. This is getting to be a pain as a couple of guys and I talk about knives and related. So now I'm in an environment where I am having to put up with someone who wants to prove how much better he is at everything and saying some patent screw-up crap. I fully expect to get lectures on how his forged knives are so much better because of the increased density of the edge from his forging over my ground knives. If I ignore him I am letting his BS get out. If I say anything I am going to get drawn into a no win situation for me.

So recommendations?

Jim

[cbsmith111]

I have never had a job where there wasn't at least one person like that. What they really want is attention so, as hard as it may be, ignoring them is the most effective strategy you can use. It may seem like everyone believes his crap, but more likely they can smell it but just kind of go along for the sake of civility. I'm afraid that's about all you can do. People like that never change. Just enjoy your knives and your cooking and don't worry about what he says. When people see the end products they will know who is right.

[Ray Rogers]

"He will be taking up forging and smelting". Just stay calm, smile, and speak in a civil manner to him. Be encouraging. Tell him you wish you could smelt your own iron and make steel, see if you can get him to try it. You produce knives, you have them to show your friends and he has words. Encourage him to make knives - let him start coming up with reasons why he isn't currently smelting his own iron. Other people will quickly figure out who is doing the job and who is just gassing.

If he does start to make knives he'll probably have to ask you for advice: score. If he does, you may both learn something. If he actually makes a few knives then his will either be better than yours or they won't (but I wouldn't worry too much).

Do some reading about smelting your own iron so you can quote references and use the correct terminology. Not necessary for you to be an expert, just use the info to say "yeah, I've always wondered about the best way to form the tuyere in a Jap oven" or some such thing that he can't reply to without doing some study on his own. He'll either start to learn something or he'll find someone else to pick on ...

[Doug Lester]

You can even find it on these boards. That increasing the density has been around by a couple of different names, edge packing, etc. It possibly grew out of the old practice of work hardening the edge of a blade with a hammer instead of quench hardening. You know back before back in the day. You'll even occasionally someone show up on one of these boards who'll even admit that he doesn't actually make knives but he's will to tell us all how it should be done. Some times it's just like a rectal exam, you just have to grit your teeth and bare it.

Doug

[ranger1]

I tend to just smile and stay my own course. I know how hard that can be. Most of the people you work with have noticed. People aren't stupid. I'd say he must really admire you. By trying to out-do you he has set you as a higher standard he is trying to imulate . I have a person in my life that alway's knows someone who is best at what-ever the topic is. This really bothered me until I was introduced to a friend of his who said " OH your Andy I have been told you make some really awsome knives". somehow he doesn't bother me as much. I try not to compete in anything. I set standards for myself and try to meet them. Be happy with yourself. Smile and act interested in what he has to say. If you can seriousely ask stupid questions and make them sound beleiveable, You can have a lot of fun with this guy. If that doesn't work. Bash his face in with a ball bat

[JawJacker]

THE WORLD IS FULL OF THOSE IDIOTS. If it bothers you, he's winning. CBSmith is right IGNORE the loser.

[Anthony Chaney]

Ask him his thoughts on edge packing. Then you can really laugh on the inside.

[Cthulhu]

OP, this isn't about your competitive nature and insecurities, it's about HIS.

And he seems to be mostly talking out his ass. If he has to show up everytime after you do something and try and cut you down, he's a CS simp.

I agree with ignoring him. It's the worst damage you can inflict. He craves the attention and probably the conflict with you. Don't give it to him and he'll wither away. Mental Jui jitsu.

[Drac]

Thanks all.

Over all he is a nice guy and has a lot to offer (when he's not talking out his...) but that is part of the danger is he has some great knowledge but it is not only mixed with the BS but is channeled, as said, toward the purpose of making sure his superiority is known. Makes it hard to learn from him.

Jim

[KNAdmin]

Jim,

If he's doing it to you, then he's doing it to everyone at work. The question is, do you gain more from letting it go, or by standing your ground?

?The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all.?
Harry Truman

Alex

[TexasJack]

I love listening to guys like that. Especially that sound they make as you're shoving them down the stairs.

[Eli Jensen]

I am an extremely competitive person by nature. By I channel it to further my craft. For example, I'm in heated competition right now with Ray Rybar. Don't tell him though, he doesn't know, and its going to be DECADES before I can even joke about winning. But its what drives me onward. The only time I'll publically be competitive is when its mutual; iron sharpening iron.

[Cthulhu]

Of course, if you were a truly EVIL person, like I may or may not be, you COULD challange him to a "Knife Off" wherein you two each produce a knife made by your own hands, to be judged by your workmates.

Specific timeframe and exact same style and materials. Let the fun begin as he starts back peddling and making excuses for delays and lack of product.

[NJStricker]

Drac,

I still have one of your knives. I wouldn't worry too much.

YOU WIN!!!

All kidding aside, if he is going to take up forging and smelting to make knives, one of two things is going to happen. He's either going to do it and fail, or do it and succeed. Whether you get involved with his success or failure is up to you. For now, you will just have to grit your teeth whenever he spouts off his BS.